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She wasn’t your average teenage girl in Hong Kong—instead of stressing about her college entrance exams, she found herself more taken with a life outside of high school. She’d already worked in a nightclub serving beer to support her hobbies. Taking care of animals was one of them. So when her pets cross-infected one another with an illness she just couldn’t figure out, she didn’t know what do any more. Her mother tried to give the animals antibiotics for humans, but it didn’t work.
She knew she needed money to bring them to a veterinarian—and fast—so she searched online to find quickly paid odd jobs. That’s when Kate first stumbled across online forums for compensated daters: young girls who are paid per hour for sex and talking, who meet their clients at love motels. In Hong Kong, compensated dating is a trend in sex work that still remains strong. While it was popular in Tokyo about a decade ago, it has since died down there—but in Hong Kong, the ease of the internet means it’s on the rise.
Hong Kong’s compensated daters aren’t analogous to America’s sugar babies—their differences come down to the clients and what they get from them. Clients usually aren’t older, wealthy, or willing to see the girls more than once. These men tend to be in their 20s, and strikingly ordinary. They never give expensive gifts or pay more than a few hundred dollars. Po-yee “Bowie” Lam, who runs an organization called Teen’s Key, helps compensated daters stay on their feet with sex education, STD tests, and counseling.
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This book considers a burgeoning social phenomenon, compensated dating in Hong Kong, that facilitates direct commercial sex exchange between consenting females from their mid-teens through the late 20s and males from their early 20s to mid-adulthood. Informed by the transformation of intimacy, the breakdown of institutional constraints, the emergence of a new female sexual autonomy and the advancement of information technology, this book moves beyond stereotypes of sex work to look at the complexities of compensated dating.
The phenomenon of compensated dating is distinctive from most other sex trades in that it involves intense emotional interactions and often extends beyond the commercial boundary. Given the dynamic, flexible and ambiguous nature of compensated dating, it has become more of a space for sexual explorations and less of a rigid model of commercial sex, at least in the eye of the participants.
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For Hong Kong’s ‘Compensated Daters,’ the Payoff Is Complicated
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Sandy was merely curious when she wrote her first post on the online dating forum. Sex work was the forbidden fruit — enticing, kinky, definitely taboo. Late one night, after a friend in the industry briefed her on legal issues and gave her tips on how to please a client, she decided she wanted in. The next morning, she used a forum to self-promote, and by nightfall, she had her first customer. It was as simple as that. The compensated dating industry is what makes sex work in Hong Kong unique.
There is no shortage of men willing to pay for companionship and sex, and business is booming — one recently-busted ring had over , members.
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