The Importance of Your Sobriety Date

A t 23 years old, Asia Blackwood was the proud stay-at-home mother of three young children in a quaint Connecticut neighborhood. Day in and day out, she prepared snacks and watched with pride as her toddlers learned to share with each other while her husband worked. Life was picture perfect. She was often exhausted, and felt sad for no reason. This listlessness and unhappiness made her feel guilty, since she had nothing to complain about. It lessened my depression and gave me more energy. During that time, she saw how unhappy her marriage was and divorced her husband. She met John not his real name , a recovering heroin addict, just weeks after her divorce and began dating him. John introduced her to a much cheaper alternative: heroin. She soon lost custody of her children and became homeless for a while, still shocked that her life was now about finding her next fix instead of fixing her kids dinner.

Dating in aa

Voices of Women in AA is a collection of 61 stories from Grapevine. Sections are devoted to spirituality, sponsorship, life changes, relationships, family, careers and friendships. The stories demonstrate the various ways women alcoholics—often with great courage—find sobriety in AA and embrace the program to live rich and rewarding lives. This collection of Grapevine stories shows the many ways members use the Twelve Steps, sponsorship, and the tools of the program to improve and repair relationships, old and new.

When we were drinking, many of us had, as the Step Four chapter in the AA book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions puts it, “a total inability to form a true partnership with another human being.

Alcoholics Anonymous is Not Perfect. The 12 Step program has helped many individuals overcome their addiction and find a meaningful life in recovery. This is​.

The editorial staff of Rehabs. Our editors and medical reviewers have over a decade of cumulative experience in medical content editing and have reviewed thousands of pages for accuracy and relevance. Never having heard of it before, my interest was piqued: What is this lesser-known step and what exactly does it mean?

Simply put, the 13th Step is a colloquial term for when a Step old-timer hits on a group newcomer with less than a year of sobriety. And, unfortunately, AA meetings give these perpetrators the perfect opportunity to work their disgusting magic. Thirteen-steppers know this and prey on these easy targets for their own personal gain. Sadly, many newbies find themselves romantically involved with a 13th stepper during their first few months of recovery.

Old timers (AA members hitting on newcomers) . sick sick sick.

In early the developer of RecoveryAudio a fellow alcoholic was granted access to some 14, AA recordings from a few hundred different AA Speakers. The speakers were powerful, and some were well-known — those speakers and their recordings had to be made available to search engines so they could be indexed, found by us alcoholics, and listened to.

That then inspired the developer over a 7 month process to build an AA Speaker site that not only hosted these speakers, but did so in a way that ascribed Titles, Tags, and Comments to speaker tapes based on Step, Category, or Recovery Theme. The hope is we reward the visitor with a tape that provides healing or inspiration to continue to stay sober and pursue their own spiritual path with their Higher Power. More Recent Summaries. Featuring Downloads and Custom Playlists!

1 AA Canada Meetings. Meeting every Wednesday, Friday and Sunday at 8PM EST. We will add more meetings if required. We are an audio/video meeting.

Posted by admin Oct 22, Blog , Personal Development 0. It was summer I was 25, and I had just picked up another newcomer chip. Got a sponsor. Gonna change my life. There he was. The sickest one in the room. My sponsor had suggested I not date until I finished working my steps, which sounded good on paper. But then I met him. We went out to dinner, jumped into bed, and got engaged.

All before I picked up my day chip. There was no happily ever after, however.

Secret of AA: After 75 Years, We Don’t Know How It Works

By Heather B. I initially found AA roughly 20 years ago, filled with trepidation and with zero self-esteem. Much to my surprise, I had been diagnosed with drug-induced psychosis after seeking psychiatric help for what I thought was depression. I knew I was an alcoholic, but since drugs were the current problem, I went to NA. I was 30 years old and thin to the point of illness.

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When we were in our addictions, the days of the year all blended together. We are fortunate in that this is no longer the case. Brian A. Every once in a while, those who attend step meetings may hear someone open a share by giving their sobriety date. There are men and women the world over who will not begin a share in AA or NA without mentioning this date, as it is one of the dates held dearest in their hearts.

At some meetings, it is even common to start with group introductions in which everyone gives their sobriety date. The other information given by people at such meetings may be subject to change; however, whenever introductions are given, you can almost count on the fact that sobriety dates will be included. There is a reason for this.

Exploitation And Dating In Recovery

A sponsor is trying to have an affair with his sponsee. What do you think of this? Reply First and foremost, a sponsor should not begin a romantic or sexual relationship with the individual they are sponsoring. This is because the newcomer looks to the sponsor for guidance, support, and to learn. Despite someone being sober for a longer amount of time, that initial sponsor relationship is reflected through their journey.

AA Beyond Belief provides a space for agnostics, atheists and freethinkers in Alcoholics Anonymous to freely share their experience, strength.

Have you ever heard of this crazy behavior. Well, run as fast as you can away from AA. Confront sexual predator. Tell your other friends. If no one supports you contact me. You are not alone!! But we have to out those who do. Leave AA and tell the world why you are leaving. So Many people think AA is such a wonderful place. It is full of predators of all kinds. And the guys and gals with DD sobriety who are preying on newcomers need to cut it out.

But everyone in AA who sees it happening needs to open their mouths and talk about it everywhere. Members think.

Sorry To Break The Bad News: You Shouldn’t Date If You’re Newly Sober

The church will be closed tomorrow, and the drunks are freaking out. An elderly lady in a prim white blouse has just delivered the bad news, with deep apologies: A major blizzard is scheduled to wallop Manhattan tonight, and up to a foot of snow will cover the ground by dawn. The church, located on the Upper West Side, can’t ask its staff to risk a dangerous commute.

Dee Young*, now 54, was 26 when she realized she had to get sober. Like many substance abusers, she sought the help of a free step.

What can you expect when you attend a step or Alcoholics Anonymous meeting? If you’ve never attended one, you likely have fears and reservations. Often, your only exposure is through what you’ve seen depicted in movies or television shows. What is the reality? These things you may think happen at step meetings, but may by myths rather than typical occurrences. What is the reality for most meetings? The meeting might be held in a building connected with a church or a community center.

Outside of the room are a few folks making coffee and talking. Inside the room, there are people sitting here and there; some talking together, some sitting alone. You take a seat by the door just in case you want to make a quick exit and as people passed by, some say hello, some nod, some stop and introduce themselves, and some keep to themselves. After about 10 minutes, there are 50 people who are seated in a semi-circle of chairs.

‘I was fresh meat’: how AA meetings push some women into harmful dating

The 12 Step program has helped many individuals overcome their addiction and find a meaningful life in recovery. This is not a recovery option that works for everyone, but for those who it does work for there can be spectacular results. Groups like Alcoholics Anonymous offer far more than fellowship and support — they also give the individual a program that they can use to rebuild their life.

When you are new to step, they advise against having a relationship the first year. And dating within the rooms is an even bigger no-go.

Thus, 12 Step is part of patriarchal oppression, even if most members might not know what this means. The mainstream is becoming increasingly aware of the problem, and the more aware the mainstream, and hence newcomers to 12 Step are, the more difficult it is for old-timers to find easy victims, as these recent articles help to evince:. One reason for the growing attention is the work of activists like Monica Richardson, mentioned in the below article on the controversial murder of Karla Brada, a newcomer who was beaten and murdered by her long-time 12 Step boyfriend:.

Thus, women in 12 Step are more part of the problem than the solution. Similarly, the below articles are written from the perspective of women who believed 12 Step was a supportive community, and, therefore, tended to blame the victims of sexual predation. The article below is one of the oldest, which again seems to suggest progress. Blaming victims remains the usual attitude in 12 Step. So, when a relationship goes sour, even the most obviously injured party has no one to blame but herself—according to 12 Step.

Not surprisingly, those who stay in 12 Step often come to believe those who are victimized are actually to blame. Thus, change within 12 Step is much slower and I would add is probably impossible than the changes with how outsiders perceive 12 Step. Thus, the more recent the article the more likely it is for the author to be protesting the predation and the more likely AA will be described as a culture of abuse.

So, as activists, we are making progress, which is cause for congratulations, despite the tens of thousands of new members to 12 Step every year who suffer and even die because the courts, government, and even medical professionals, have said 12 Step is the path to Salvation. Silver Damsen grew up in Southern California. She earned a Ph.

Best Speakers for the Newcomer to Alcoholics Anonymous